I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
