Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
