batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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