His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
