i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
In America we eat man semen.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
