I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
