why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
