Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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