party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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