the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
