I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
