it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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