But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
