New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
