The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
