there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
