I just cut my nipple shaving
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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