I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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