Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
