I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
