you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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