didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
