Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
