Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
