a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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