i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
