Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
