Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
