This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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