i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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