is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
