I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he fucked my hip out of place.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
