she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i love accidental penises.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
