Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
