my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
