I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Blood and glitter go together right?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
