And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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