you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
