it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
