Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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