We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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