I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
