You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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