Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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