My sheets look like a crime scene.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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