dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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