and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
