Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
