I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
