I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
